He said “mom, this morning I woke up to someone crying and saying ‘I missed it'”. I said “Well, honey, many people wait until their loved ones are out of the room before they pass. They go to get coffee or go pee and when they come back it’s too late. They think they’re saving them from the pain of seeing them go”. He looked at me and nodded, a very thoughtful look on his face. I looked him right in the eyes and said “Don’t be that guy”. He said to me “I’ll see what I can do, mom”.
I spent hours and hours holding his hand. I had Randy sneak a few photos of our hands so that I could remember how it felt. At first, in the hospital, he didn’t want me to take pictures and would get angry about everything, but later in Hospice he didn’t mind. Most of his anger was gone. His true sweet personality shone back through and he was full of love, laughter and kindness for all of his family, friends and visitors that dropped by. He pushed himself to stay awake when he should’ve rested, knowing time was short.
He would make the effort to get up and walk over and wrap his arms around me and say “love you, momma”. He always did a little tickle thing on my back with his fingers. His signature thing. I would move heaven and earth to feel him do that again.